I took last Friday off of work and went to the Lake with some friends. I'm so thankful I did that.
Sometimes a weekend away with some of your best friends is the best thing you can do for your mental health.
I've been kind of anxious lately because of my new office opening next week and the impending move. Just lots going on and lots of changes happening all around me. And if you know me, you know change isn't my favorite thing... So a weekend full of lots of laughter and relaxing was just what I needed.
And then last night after church a friend and I both ended up pulling into Bread Co at the same time and decided to eat together. A quick dinner ended up in a 2 hour dinner with lots of good talk. It was one of those nights where you just knew God had a hand in us showing up at the same place. We both had things we needed to talk about.
So tonight as I sit here doing laundry and watching all my teeny bopper shows I DVR, I was thinking about friends. And how I'm so thankful for the people I have in my life. I know good friends are hard to find so I feel so fortunate to have lost of good friends. Life would be pretty lonely and a lot harder to survive if it wasn't for them.
God places the right people in our lives at the exact right time. And if I trust that He does that with my friends then I must trust that He will do that with my romantic relationships.
If you've ever been there for me, thanks. There will never be enough words to thank you.
And if you have some good friends, remind them how much they mean to you.
Quote of the Day: "Years from now I won't remember all the things that made us laugh so hard, but I will remember that you were there."
Signed: This girl is feeling SUPER grateful tonight. My cup runneth over!
Monday, August 19, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Day 11- Watch Your Mouth Young Lady
I need to watch my language. And I'm not exactly talking about bad words. (Although I could watch that at times too.)
What I'm really talking about is me being negative. Especially me being negative about myself.
Here is where my mind tends to go when I'm thinking about my future: "I'm never going to meet anyone.", "I'm going to be alone forever.", "I'm never going to have a good relationship.", "It's so hard to meet new people.", etc... I think you get the picture. And I'm sure that to you all reading this, those thoughts seem ridiculous. And logically, they are ridiculous! But in my heart on an insecure vulnerable day they seem very very real. Do you ever have moments like that? Moments where you know your mind has gone way off the deep end, but it seems so realistic and you can't quite pull yourself out.
I wonder if when I'm thinking those negative thoughts about myself if God gets a little insulted. (If our God was a God that got insulted, I'm sure He would be.) Can't you just see Him, giving me the "you're being crazy" eyes, wondering why I can't just trust Him? I can. And when I think about it that way, ummmm whoa, I am being completely silly.
The problem with negative thoughts is that they are just like any other bad habit and the more you think them, the more they stick with you. The more they stick with you, the more they become your reality. So in my case, when I meet someone new these thoughts are taunting me in the background. Have they messed up a new relationship for me? Eh... I'm not so sure of that because I've gone on dates with mostly jerks and crazies, but I know those thoughts haunting me haven't helped anything.
So all of this comes back to faith. When has God not provided for me? Never. So I need to work on changing my language. And doing that sounds something like this, "I trust that God will put an amazing man in my life when my heart and his is ready.", "I know I'm going to get married one day.", "There is a perfect guy out there for me and I can't wait to meet him." I've been trying this the past 11 days and it's actually starting to work. I can feel a shift in the way I feel about myself and where my heart is.
If you are a negative self talker like I am. Whether it's about dating or not, I am encouraging you to wake up every morning and pray that God will help you have positive thoughts. Positive thoughts about life, your future and yourself. If we are going to be true Christ followers we have to trust everyday that God is in control and that He knows what He's doing.
So if you hear me ever being negative about myself... Please correct me. In a completely loving way of course.
Verse of the Day: Jeremiah 29:11-13
Signed: This girl needs to write more this week.
What I'm really talking about is me being negative. Especially me being negative about myself.
Here is where my mind tends to go when I'm thinking about my future: "I'm never going to meet anyone.", "I'm going to be alone forever.", "I'm never going to have a good relationship.", "It's so hard to meet new people.", etc... I think you get the picture. And I'm sure that to you all reading this, those thoughts seem ridiculous. And logically, they are ridiculous! But in my heart on an insecure vulnerable day they seem very very real. Do you ever have moments like that? Moments where you know your mind has gone way off the deep end, but it seems so realistic and you can't quite pull yourself out.
I wonder if when I'm thinking those negative thoughts about myself if God gets a little insulted. (If our God was a God that got insulted, I'm sure He would be.) Can't you just see Him, giving me the "you're being crazy" eyes, wondering why I can't just trust Him? I can. And when I think about it that way, ummmm whoa, I am being completely silly.
The problem with negative thoughts is that they are just like any other bad habit and the more you think them, the more they stick with you. The more they stick with you, the more they become your reality. So in my case, when I meet someone new these thoughts are taunting me in the background. Have they messed up a new relationship for me? Eh... I'm not so sure of that because I've gone on dates with mostly jerks and crazies, but I know those thoughts haunting me haven't helped anything.
So all of this comes back to faith. When has God not provided for me? Never. So I need to work on changing my language. And doing that sounds something like this, "I trust that God will put an amazing man in my life when my heart and his is ready.", "I know I'm going to get married one day.", "There is a perfect guy out there for me and I can't wait to meet him." I've been trying this the past 11 days and it's actually starting to work. I can feel a shift in the way I feel about myself and where my heart is.
If you are a negative self talker like I am. Whether it's about dating or not, I am encouraging you to wake up every morning and pray that God will help you have positive thoughts. Positive thoughts about life, your future and yourself. If we are going to be true Christ followers we have to trust everyday that God is in control and that He knows what He's doing.
So if you hear me ever being negative about myself... Please correct me. In a completely loving way of course.
Verse of the Day: Jeremiah 29:11-13
Signed: This girl needs to write more this week.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Day 6- Worship
"Everybody has an altar. And every altar has a throne." -Louis Giglio, The Air I Breathe
I co-teach high school Sunday school and was teaching this past Sunday when one of my girls reminded me of the church wide Lenten study we did a couple years ago. It was from Louie Giglio's book, The Air I Breathe. The book is all about worship. So last night before bed I started reading it again. And this second time around it's resonating with me even more.
What do I worship? I would like to say God 100% of the time, but I don't know if that's completely true. I think in the last couple months I've about 70% worshiped God, 10% worshiped my friends and family relationships, 10% worshiped work, and 10% worshiped worrying about my future (aka my singleness). And when I say worshiped, I don't mean I'm bowing down to work or praying to my friends. I just mean that God hasn't been at my center. And that has to change.
I know in my heart that we were all made by God to first and foremost love God. That has to be what I do. What you do. What we all do.
Everything we all do is an act of worship. I want my life to be spent worshiping God in everything I do. And we all know what we do speaks louder than anything we say. So how am I going to work on this? By waking up every morning and giving that day to God. By concentrating on my love for God rather than all the other things I think I "need" in my life. I know this isn't something that will just magically change during the time of intense reflection. I know keeping God at my center when there are a million other distractions will be a daily struggle probably forever. But it's a struggle I'm willing to have. I know once God is at my center the rest of my life will fall into place. And maybe "falling into place" will look completely different than what I pictured for my life, but I will know that it's God's will. And a girl can't argue with that, now can she?
Isn't it funny how one of my high school girls can say something that is just what I need to hear? I just love the way God is working in my life through the people around me.
What do you worship?
Verse of The Day: Romans 11:36
Signed: "I was made to love. And be loved by you."
I co-teach high school Sunday school and was teaching this past Sunday when one of my girls reminded me of the church wide Lenten study we did a couple years ago. It was from Louie Giglio's book, The Air I Breathe. The book is all about worship. So last night before bed I started reading it again. And this second time around it's resonating with me even more.
What do I worship? I would like to say God 100% of the time, but I don't know if that's completely true. I think in the last couple months I've about 70% worshiped God, 10% worshiped my friends and family relationships, 10% worshiped work, and 10% worshiped worrying about my future (aka my singleness). And when I say worshiped, I don't mean I'm bowing down to work or praying to my friends. I just mean that God hasn't been at my center. And that has to change.
I know in my heart that we were all made by God to first and foremost love God. That has to be what I do. What you do. What we all do.
Everything we all do is an act of worship. I want my life to be spent worshiping God in everything I do. And we all know what we do speaks louder than anything we say. So how am I going to work on this? By waking up every morning and giving that day to God. By concentrating on my love for God rather than all the other things I think I "need" in my life. I know this isn't something that will just magically change during the time of intense reflection. I know keeping God at my center when there are a million other distractions will be a daily struggle probably forever. But it's a struggle I'm willing to have. I know once God is at my center the rest of my life will fall into place. And maybe "falling into place" will look completely different than what I pictured for my life, but I will know that it's God's will. And a girl can't argue with that, now can she?
Isn't it funny how one of my high school girls can say something that is just what I need to hear? I just love the way God is working in my life through the people around me.
What do you worship?
Verse of The Day: Romans 11:36
Signed: "I was made to love. And be loved by you."
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Day 3- Never Once
It's been a long day and I'm battling a headache tonight. So I'm doing what I do best when I'm not feeling good. Listening to worship music and trying to relax.
This song by Matt Redman has been on constant repeat lately.
This song by Matt Redman has been on constant repeat lately.
"Never Once"
Standing on this mountaintop
Looking just how far we've come
Knowing that for every stepYou were with us
Kneeling on this battle ground
Seeing just how much You've done
Knowing every victory is Your power in us
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
Every step we are breathing in Your grace
Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
You are faithful, God, You are faithful
The first time I heard this song, I pulled out my journal and wrote this, "Please God, let this be true for me and for my life. Teach me and help me focus on you. Let me realize your love is enough. The world is not enough, YOU are enough. I've never once went without. I've never once walked alone. God you are faithful. Thank you for loving me and for all your promises to never leave me."
Signed: Overwhelmed by God's love for me.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Day 2- I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
I have amazing friends. Like truly amazing. I've been lucky enough in my adult life to maintain friendships with my high school friends and not only do I have them, but I also have friends from work and friends from church. And they are all so important to me.
The people you choose to surround yourself with are so vital. I've chosen loving and encouraging people. They don't bring me down. They don't judge me. And they have always always always stood by my side no matter what.
So during these 40 Days I'm going to make sure I spend lots of time with my friends. That I remind myself how important those relationships are to me and then in turn let those friends know how much they mean to me.
Life isn't so lonely when you have the best friends in the world by your side.
Quote of the Day: "Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher." -Oprah
Signed: Realizing more and more everyday that the best things in life aren't things.
The people you choose to surround yourself with are so vital. I've chosen loving and encouraging people. They don't bring me down. They don't judge me. And they have always always always stood by my side no matter what.
So during these 40 Days I'm going to make sure I spend lots of time with my friends. That I remind myself how important those relationships are to me and then in turn let those friends know how much they mean to me.
Life isn't so lonely when you have the best friends in the world by your side.
Quote of the Day: "Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher." -Oprah
Signed: Realizing more and more everyday that the best things in life aren't things.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Day 1- First Things First
I, of course, had an agenda this morning but God, of course, had something else in mind. (I know you all are thinking the obvious, "Hey Jess... This is your first lesson in giving up control.")
So anyways, my agenda for Day 1 of the 40 Day Dating Detox was to get off match.com and go through my phone and delete numbers. I was going to ease myself into this. I knew in a few days I was going to have to tackle the whole "Ghosts of Boyfriends (or random dates) Past", but that day was not going to be today. And... I was wrong.
I had to be up at 4:30 this morning because my aunt is having surgery today. So after my alarm went off and I was doing my normal "playing on my phone while trying to wake up" and saw that I had a Facebook message. And not just any Facebook message, but a message from the guy I was talking to a couple weeks ago. The guy that literally just completely quit talking to me out of the blue. The guy that made me realize that my focus and priorities are completely off kilter right now. And what does he say? (Side note: I'm not going to use anyone's names, details or anything in this blog. This will never be a means to bash anyone or hurt feelings. Obviously I will tell stories and they will be from my point of view but will be told purely for you to get to know me better and for me to figure out some things about myself.) Anyways... He said, in summary: That he knows he was a jerk. He doesn't know how to fix it. And that he doesn't want me to hold his behavior against any other guy I date in the future. Uhhhh, whoa! Apparently I'm diving head first into all this and getting closure for some things already. Craziness...
I'm still going to get off match.com and delete some numbers today. But I'm also going to throw out my agenda for these next 40 Days and let God lead me where He wants me to go.
Verse of the day: Isaiah 66:9
I know God is doing some great things in my life. And I know my faith and heart are being renewed and reborn.
Signed: I surrender.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
A Dating Detox
"Dating sucks. I suck. No, I don't suck. Guys suck. I'm never going to meet anyone. Everyone is shady. Am I shady? Everyone is awkward. Maybe I'm awkward. I'm going to be alone...forrrrrever."
This has been the thought process in my head lately. After a handful of bad dates, mixed in with a few awkward dates, and a couple disappointments I've started to become cynical and insecure. And cynical and insecure is not me. I'm the positive girl with tons of faith. I'm the girl that trusts in God's ultimate plan for my life. What the heck has happened to me?
Jerks have happened to me. Mediocre has happened to me. My own craziness has happened to me.
So now it's time for a change. The idea of the detox started as a joke between me and my roommate/bestie, Lindsay. We were emailing last week and both complaining about how we need a break from dating and that we also both need to get healthy. And since detoxes are so trendy right now we started talking about doing a dating detox. And here we are now!
So what does a dating detox look like? I scoured the internet tonight and honestly, it looks like many different things for different people. But for me it looks like this:
*First and foremost, focusing on my relationship with God and listening to what He wants for my life.
*Accepting and loving every part of me.
*Not dating at all. Getting off the current dating site I'm on. And not talking to anyone new during this time.
*Purging my life of all remnants of ex boyfriends.
*Focusing on me.
So if you decide to come on this journey with me, then let me know in a comment below what your dating detox looks like. And if you're just reading along, then let me know that too.
I'm sure this is going to be an amazing adventure and I can't wait to see what God is going to do in my life in the next 40 Days.
Signed: Kicking my close friends Cynical and Insecure out the door, they've over stayed their welcome!
This has been the thought process in my head lately. After a handful of bad dates, mixed in with a few awkward dates, and a couple disappointments I've started to become cynical and insecure. And cynical and insecure is not me. I'm the positive girl with tons of faith. I'm the girl that trusts in God's ultimate plan for my life. What the heck has happened to me?
Jerks have happened to me. Mediocre has happened to me. My own craziness has happened to me.
So now it's time for a change. The idea of the detox started as a joke between me and my roommate/bestie, Lindsay. We were emailing last week and both complaining about how we need a break from dating and that we also both need to get healthy. And since detoxes are so trendy right now we started talking about doing a dating detox. And here we are now!
So what does a dating detox look like? I scoured the internet tonight and honestly, it looks like many different things for different people. But for me it looks like this:
*First and foremost, focusing on my relationship with God and listening to what He wants for my life.
*Accepting and loving every part of me.
*Not dating at all. Getting off the current dating site I'm on. And not talking to anyone new during this time.
*Purging my life of all remnants of ex boyfriends.
*Focusing on me.
So if you decide to come on this journey with me, then let me know in a comment below what your dating detox looks like. And if you're just reading along, then let me know that too.
I'm sure this is going to be an amazing adventure and I can't wait to see what God is going to do in my life in the next 40 Days.
Signed: Kicking my close friends Cynical and Insecure out the door, they've over stayed their welcome!
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